Bold truth: 2025 shined a harsh spotlight on Prince Andrew, turning him into the year’s most recognizable punchline. He’s already been stripped of his title and royal privileges, and now he closes the year as the butt of the season’s top Christmas cracker joke.
The annual contest is run by the comedy channel U&Gold (formerly Comedy Gold) and judged by the British public. Each year, the winning quip captures a major headline with sharp, timely wit.
This year’s winner, crafted by Ben Smith of Chelmsford, cuts to the chase about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s fall from royal favor: “Why is Prince Andrew not writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got any titles!” The prize includes £1,500 toward a holiday.
A second joke about the former Duke of York also makes the top 10, landing at number four: “What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.” The line underscores how deeply the year’s stories have penetrated public consciousness.
Rounding out the finalists are festive jests about politicians Angela Rayner and Nigel Farage, and celebrities such as Lily Allen and David Harbour (whose tense divorce is referenced in Allen’s recent album), pop star Sabrina Carpenter, and Claudia Winkleman, who hosts The Traitors.
In second place, a quip about Oasis nods to the band’s long-anticipated reunion tour: “Why don’t Noel and Liam want to open their presents early on Christmas morning? They need a little time to wake up.”
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, chair of the judging panel that screens jokes before public voting, called the list “an absolutely stellar collection—perhaps the best we’ve ever seen in 13 years of U&GOLD.” He noted that 2025 offered plenty of newsworthy moments, and the jokes reflect a broad mix of headlines.
Gerald Casey, UKTV director, echoed the sentiment: the entries show the British public still has a sharp, humorous take on current events.
Past winners highlighted Keir Starmer’s freebies in 2024, and 2023’s top joke poked fun at the British Museum.
Top 10 jokes this year:
- Why is Prince Andrew not writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got any titles.
- Why don’t Noel and Liam want to open their presents early on Christmas morning? They need a little time to wake up.
- Which pop star carves her own wooden nativity scene? Sabrina Carpenter.
- What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.
- What is a French burglar’s favourite Christmas film? Louvre, Actually.
- Could Lily Allen and David Harbour get back together for Christmas? Stranger Things have happened.
- Why won’t Angela Rayner get any Christmas presents this year? Santa can’t decide which address to deliver to.
- What is Claudia Winkleman’s favourite part of Christmas dinner? The Taters.
- Does Celia Imrie beat her family at Christmas party games? Yes, she trumps them all.
- Where has Santa been more than Nigel Farage? His house in Clacton.
